The title of this entry should make sense by the end.
I’m in the middle of a sharp transition when it comes to my social life. In tandem, I’ve also had dreams that were even more disturbing than the ones prior. But at this stage of the game, my latest dream took the cake.
In this vision, I was getting ready for an LSU game with Ma, Darren and the girls. I really didn’t want to go, especially since I had my third potential boo-thang in my room. It was as if I was under some kind of spell; there they were—my size, but a shade or two lighter in complexion—as I had the door closed packing a few things. They lay across my burgundy sheets in nothing but a white towel, flexing their legs as to give a preview of our next meeting.
I’ve always kept my social and family lives separate, which was part of the reason why this person went into my closet to change clothes; disoriented, I ended up leaving my room door open. I went back and forth between rooms, helping the girls get ready, getting myself together and making sure ‘boo-boo’ had their stuff ready as well since I was going to drop them off along the way. But when I say ‘tasty’ was too nice of a word…I couldn’t help but corner them in my closet, with my bright ten-inch clamp light shining down on us. We macked out like I had never macked out before; it was better than the gold digger at the river, better than the user at Independence Park. How could I not? It was something about them in that navy and white outfit…the entire world stopped in that moment. This happened twice, and took us a good minute to finish getting ready to leave.
After the second make-out session, I went to my mom’s room.
“So I’m going to go drop them off, and I’ll meet y’all there.”
“All right,” she responded as she gave me some things tied in a Walmart bag. “Bring this too, since I don’t know how much longer they’re gonna take.”
That’s how I remember the dream ending.
Let’s dig in.
In the recent months, I’ve realized that there are four things that complete me: family, friends, career and the word I refuse to use. Let’s call it ‘the latter.’ My family will never leave me hanging, my career path is promising and I’ve entered a new circle of friends who respect me—grown folks who actually make me feel like somebody. But I’m missing the latter. I guess its something I’m ready for subconsciously.
I woke up last week missing the hell out of the gold digger. In essence, they were my ideal type to…a…tee. But deep down, I felt they were using me to take them out places. This was in 2012, and I was much too immature to deal with this correctly; instead of addressing my concerns, I dogged them out about not getting a job, all with some intent of pushing them away. They tried to kick up dust with me later on and failed. That very day, I got a message on Facebook from the user, also mentioned above. Either way, this one has far to many kinks—kinks that are beyond my ability to iron out.
It’s not rocket science figuring this dream out, and I’m sure the freakishly bright clamp light in my closet had some sort of spiritual meaning as it hovered over the person like a halo. Before I end this entry, let me identify the person. In real life, they were someone I met on Twitter a year ago, and they ended up being a complete idiot. They wanted to make out with me, but I refused.
This dream denotes something that I want badly. But in reality, I have become somewhat cold and unfeeling. It makes me wonder how much of the latter I’m capable of giving in return. By the way, my friends and I saw Maleficent the other day. If you’ve seen the movie, you’ll understand the significance of that statement.
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